Online dating and interpersonal communication

CNN shows examples of first messages gone wrong and why they are wrong. Why no one wants you. These firsts messages are violating a type of Communication Rule called Regulative Rules. This message violates Regulative Rules because it discloses too much information for the first time communicating. It is understood that in communication that too much information in the first time talking is inappropriate.

This is called Self-disclosure. When building a relationship online you lose non-verbal cues that can express the level of the relationship. A few non-verbal cues are Proxemics, which is personal space and Haptics, which is touch. In a building a relationship we look for these types of communication to express the stage of relationship. For example, one might use the sense of touch to express intimacy or one might move physically closer to someone to show comfort. Online commutation makes it difficult to express this non-verbally so online daters usually compensate with more disclosure as explained above.

Once a relationship is established there are several conflicts that will have to be navigated, just like every other relationship, expect online relationships can be even more challenging. Understanding some External Pressures can help explain what it might take to maintain the relationship. Competing Demands create tensions within a relationship.

Competing Demands mean that other outside relationships or commitments can take away from focusing on a relationship. Online relationships take time and commitment. It takes time to send messages to significant others, and to log on to dating state to communicate with users. Competing relationships like friends or families and even careers can take away time that is needed to invest in an online relationship.

Geographic Differences is another very difficult external issue. These issues are often found in an online dating relationship. Being able to meet up and go on dates face-to-face can be nearly impossible. This means that commitment in the relationship needs to be even stronger. Frequent calls, emails, and letters are required to sustain the relationship which as explained above this can be time consuming and difficult.

Online dating can be an effective way to meet a significant other, but when putting yourself on an online dating site, it is important to make sure that you know how the process works. Understanding what goes into a profile allows you to know how others might perceive you and gives you an insight when looking at others profiles. Looking at how language and appearance can affect interest towards someone can help online daters make sure that they are not missing out on any relationships.

Starting and building a relationship online is difficult, so understanding what can go wrong and what goes into an online relationship can make it easier to navigate. Realizing the demand and external pressures that effect relationships can make it easier to be more understanding when these tensions arise. Although this seems like a difficult and long process, online dating can be successful.

Just knowing how to use effective interpersonal communication can make it less intense and can allow for a more effective use of online dating sites. As a girl I can tell you with confidence there are many differences between boys and girls. Just listening in on a group of boys walking by, I can identify differences in the way males and females communicate.

With these differences in mind, you can see why relationships are a constant working process. Leslie Baxter explains that one of the main struggles that couples face is the desire for independence and closeness. All of us have experienced the frustrating situation where we have just needed some time without our loved one or friends and they feel the opposite.

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These situations can build tension and hurt our relationships. These struggles become even more prevalent when our definitions of closeness or independence are different. The other day my friend was dealing with tension between with her significant other. He had expressed that he had not felt emotional connected for a while and wanted to spend more time together. What the Blogosphere is saying In this section of the website I will explain the positive and negative effects online dating has had on interpersonal communication.

Why is Online Dating a Catalyst for Communication? Online sites allow people to meet without help from an outside source for instance, going out with a friend. This is one way Online dating is extremely convenient, which is why many busy professionals are attracted to it.


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Besides being convenient, online dating is a fairly cheap way to socialize with other single people. It is often times much less expensive to join an online dating site than it is to go on an in-person date. Personals, which allows people to communicate and mingle whenever they please. With the growth of social media and technological advances, it seems only natural for online dating sites to become more popular and accepted.

Online dating has started to effect the way relationships form. The first step to online dating is to create a profile. These profiles are what the online sites use to put the user in to a database to match interest and capability with others. To create these profiles many users without knowing use the perspective of The Generalized Other. One of the most crucial parts of an online dating profile is the profile picture. If someone was to be wearing a suite one might perceive the user as a business professional that has a steady income.

The lost art of offline dating

After the profile is up and running it is now time to start exploring others profiles. One of the first things users looks at, when searching other users profiles, is their profile picture.


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This is means that Physical Appearance still has an important role when searching for a romantic relationship online. This is what we initially based our opinions of others on. This raises some big questions on the online dating world because users can post enhanced and inaccurate photos of themselves. T Hancock and C. Toma found that online profiles had photographs that used some sort of self-enhancement. This could create conflict later on if the relationship develops and they deiced to meet up.

Users should be aware though that when interpreting others profiles, it could be misunderstood. Another issue that users should be aware is that when looking at others interests we can easily Stereotype others. They might stereotype him as immature or you might think he or she probably does not have a stable job but actually he or she might have a great job and be very mature but just happens to enjoy those interests.

The lost art of offline dating - CNN

They would move right past him or her and they might have missed a possibility of having a great relationship with them. After exploring several profiles communication with other users can start and online daters can begin to express interest. Because of profile questions, it is easy to find common interests with others. This allows relationships to move ahead in their development of friend to the stage of Friendly Relations.

Does Social Media Affect Relationships?

For online daters, this is when one might send a message to someone else highlight common interests highlighted on their profiles and asks more about the shared interest. After finding someone that might have be a match, it is time to start communicating through messages online. For the first message, as explained above, one should just highlight common interests and should express interest in further conversations. This step is when many things can go wrong. Understanding these rules is important. CNN shows examples of first messages gone wrong and why they are wrong. Why no one wants you.

These firsts messages are violating a type of Communication Rule called Regulative Rules. This message violates Regulative Rules because it discloses too much information for the first time communicating. It is understood that in communication that too much information in the first time talking is inappropriate. This is called Self-disclosure. When building a relationship online you lose non-verbal cues that can express the level of the relationship. A few non-verbal cues are Proxemics, which is personal space and Haptics, which is touch. In a building a relationship we look for these types of communication to express the stage of relationship.

For example, one might use the sense of touch to express intimacy or one might move physically closer to someone to show comfort. Online commutation makes it difficult to express this non-verbally so online daters usually compensate with more disclosure as explained above. Once a relationship is established there are several conflicts that will have to be navigated, just like every other relationship, expect online relationships can be even more challenging.